Are Female Divorce Lawyers Better?

For men and women like, finding a truly good divorce lawyer is critical to how life will be after divorce. It’s quite natural that many women wonder if a good female divorce lawyer would be better yet. But it’s a question that many men ask too, perhaps because they’ve generally had more positive experiences working with women than they have with men.

Rita M Bank top female divorce lawyer

Rita Bank - principal and co-founder of Ain & Bank Law, and one of Washington's top divorce lawyers.

Whether you’re a man or woman yourself, there are several ways in which a female divorce lawyer may be better for your divorce. This is assuming, of course, that they are first and foremost a “good divorce lawyer”.

Female divorce lawyers find other ways to win

It’s generally agreed that in all facets of life, women are typically less confrontational – more open to discussion, exploring alternative solutions, negotiation and (where beneficial) compromise. When women are also divorce lawyers, this translates into less likelihood that your divorce will end up being unnecessarily contentious, and therefore costly.

This is not to say that all male lawyers are aggressive, or that all female lawyers are not. And it certainly doesn’t mean that a female divorce lawyer will be a walkover – she will certainly “be in your corner” and as adequately equipped to fight your cause.

It simply means that women divorce lawyers can be (and often are) better at finding and suggesting alternative ways to “win” that involve less stress and expense.

It should be said that no divorce lawyer – male or female – should be permitted to escalate your divorce into a fully-fledged battle if this is not what you want. However, in the event that it’s necessary at some point to “get tough” there’s a good chance that a female divorce lawyer will be more adept at being tough with minimum conflict.

Better communication

Good communication with a lawyer is essential and most would agree with the commonly-held view that women are better listeners, good at reading between the lines and patient when explaining concepts and ideas.

Again, it’s not guaranteed but you may find it easier to get on the same page with a female divorce lawyer – that she will fully understand what you want and help you understand your options too.

Of course, good communication with your lawyer depends on you too. With this in mind, a female divorce lawyer is the better choice if you are generally more comfortable talking to women, or simply find it difficult to express yourself well.

Female divorce lawyers may be more appropriate

In general, you may find it just as easy to talk with men as women – you don’t have a preference – but divorce is not “in general.” You will need to discuss your marriage and the issues involved, in detail.

So, before drawing up a shortlist of good divorce attorneys, it’s a good idea to think these issues through. For men and women alike, a female lawyer is often the most appropriate.

For example, women may feel that certain details of married life will be easier to share with another woman, because they are deeply personal or not something a man would understand.

For men, the same applies, in theory – a male lawyer may seem like the sensible choice. But it’s a good idea to think twice. Many men are still more comfortable talking with women, about anything.

An added edge for Men

For men, there are a couple of extra benefits associated with hiring a female divorce lawyer. Firstly, the potential advantages of having an “inside track” on how a woman – including their ex wife – thinks, and how she is likely to respond to certain tactics. Secondly, being represented by a woman can help “decriminalize” men in Family Court.

Closing thoughts

As you can see, there are good solid reasons why women divorce lawyers can be better lawyers, not just in general, but particularly for you and your divorce case.

But a word of caution. Male or female, lawyers are lawyers and ultimately in business for themselves, so you need to be in the driving seat of your divorce, not your lawyer.

With this in mind, perhaps the most important “added value” delivered by female divorce lawyers is “better communication” – the ability to make it clear what you want and fully understand your options at every stage of your divorce. Add in the other benefits of a “woman’s touch” and the end result may be a divorce that’s cheaper, less stressful and “more successful”, thanks to a female divorce lawyer.

Posted in: Divorce Steps and Planning

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